The Conquering of LACMA
“no photography please.” Click it!
The LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art) gets me. They know that I need to get my moneys worth. When I go to a museum and have to pay the full price of admission, like a man, I feel compelled to conquer the place.
‘Wait. You wanna go? But we’ve only seen one building! We’ve still got six more! What about the Asian Pavilion?! What about the ROMAN VILLA?! WHAT ABOUT THE TAAARRR PIIITTTSSS?! fuck.’
It’s not a friendly environment.
The journey begins as an intellectual pursuit. Notes are taken, thoughtful insights. But with each era my souls get a little thinner, eyes a little more strained by my stark white surroundings.
I glance at my folding map. One building left… Contemporary Art, the grab-bag of the museum. Just thinking about it leaves me with a strange taste in my mouth, imagining sharks wearing rubber diapers. Sorry Mr. Koons but your life size chachka of MJ and Bubbles was a little too much for me. I lost my sense of humor a few hours ago. Why is Jesus holding a penguin? Why are there so many floaty toys? What?!
Phew! That was just a dramatization of what could have happened if LACMA didn’t have pay-what-you-will-evenings. This is where we see eye to eye. Pay a dollar, look at a dollars worth of art. Everyone goes home happy.
Over the last year, my girlfriend and I have leisurely nibbled our way through the LACMA. This past week we tackled the Contemporary Art building. The last building on our checklist. As you might expect, it was three floors of post-modern wackiness. At the last exhibit I was captivated by this scene. It looks like something straight out of ‘2001 A Space Odyssey’. The flap of my Nikon’s mirror echoed through the space and alerted the LACMA muscle. I had broken the museum goers second commandment (DONT TOUCH. DONT SHOOT) Brisk, sharp, hard-souled footsteps got closer until a little man in a suit stood before us. ‘No photography please’, then he turned his back to us, and walked away. You win this time little man, but I’ll be back soon… with a tripod… and a flash!
ISO 6400 is no way to live, it’s gotta be sharp!
